Sad

 
This past week has been extremely sad.  Tomorrow is the service for our friend Leif Borgeson and it's going to be huge.  Ever since his death Jack has not been himself.  He is really effected by this loss.
 
Tonight, I was in charge of dinner for Hannah's confirmation class.  Each parent has to sign up for a night and back in December I signed up for tonight.  I had to work so I knew that I had to put together something for dinner in the crock-pot and Jack would have to bring it to church and set up and serve.  But, dummy me, I made tacos and it was high maintenance.  I had bags of stuff for him to bring and there is a vegan couple there, so I had the vegan tacos as well, that had to be heated.  All pretty easy right?  Not if you're Jack.  I have totally enabled him to not know how do anything but boil water.  Shame on me. Well, he did great and pulled through.    
I went skiing today and knew I would have to get home to get everything together for Jack which would make his life easier.  He picked up the kids from my work and left after extensive direction from me.  I need to learn to shut up and let him deal.  Well, he was cranky and I was pissed that he came in so cranky. 
I got home early, 10pm.  He wasn't home but all of the leftover carnage was still in the bags waiting to be put away.  I was annoyed and started cleaning up and thinking of how cranky he was.  I got over it and sat down to watch the news.  He came in and he had a couple of cocktails down in the garage with our tenant. 
He just started crying when he saw me and said shit is hitting the fan.  He told me that our friend, and our best man in our wedding, has been diagnosed with stomach cancer and we need to get to the hospital asap to be with him.  It was all too much for him to handle.  He was so freaked out about the life and death concept and we sat there for a long time thinking about our friends.
I felt so bad for being pissed and annoyed at him after seeing how he was not handling all of this death and sickness very well.  Shame on me again.   
I'm not sure why things happen the way they do but it sure is hard to see friends die, friends have cancer, friends get divorced, friends suffer.  Jack has not had to deal with many of these issues and he is not having a very easy time of it.  Tomorrow will be very difficult.