This is a First

In the 22 years that we have owned this house we have seen some wild life. 
Bears in our mudroom and on our deck. 
Racoons clinging to the side of our house.
Deer and elk in the yard.
Plenty of fox and porcupines up close and personal.  Ask our old dog Buck.  He loved porcupines.  To the tune of around $1500 total. 
The neighborhood dogs daily coming by to say hello.
A pack rat ON ME IN OUR BED at 3:00 in the morning. 
Hundreds of mice.
2 weasels in my livingroom.
A mountain lion in our driveway.

This morning, last week, Jack started yelling that there were goats in the yard.   I shot out of bed thinking that he was joking and he wasn't.  There, in the yard, were 5 mountain goats. 
It was beautiful.  And a first. 

Mountain Life, This Summer, in Colorado

What a slacker I've been.  I love to blog and haven't been writing and I really miss it.  Time to change my ways. 

Mountain life in Colorado sure has been interesting since school has ended.  Especially now with all of the wild fires we are experiencing throughout our beautiful state.  It's absolutely heartbreaking to watch the devistation going on around us knowing that one lightning strike up here or stupid camper with a roaring fire could torch our forest.  It's super scary.  Our family made plans and we have started putting things together for a "quick grab" just in case.  
Pets first, laptop, albums and the girls have their own bags of stuff that they definetely do not want to leave behind.  Crazy to be preparing but we feel we need to.  It's getting too close for comfort. 

We had a huge rain/hail storm today which made me want to dance in the rain and I did.  It was cold but I was so incredibly happy to see some water and my flowers and yard were drinking like there was no tomorrow.  Such a great smell.  Even the cat and dog could tell this was good.  It was great.  Living in the mountains, right now, I'm curled up under a blanket.  We are always curled up under a blanket even though it's record temps in Denver.  It is still cool here and I love summers.  I'm happy. 

We just closed all the windows and our house smells like summer rain and I'm so thankful that we aren't experiencing an evacuation.  Everyone is talking fires in Colorado and it's amazing to think of the firefighters doing their job right now and how exhausted they all must be.  My cousin's son, Jake, is a working as a paramedic at the High Park fire as we speak so we are all keeping him in our thoughts and prayers.  He's one incredible kid and we are all so extremely proud of him.  I am anxious to hear of his experience.  I'm sure he has a story to tell. 

Mountain life, this summer so far, has been weird.  Watching the fires, no rain, it's just been weird. 

I love our beautiful state.

The River

I got a hall pass for 9 days.
 I was invited on a river trip by some friends of mine who I work with and they had a permit for the Green River in Utah through Desolation and Gray canyons.  I went.
Back in the day, before kids, we used to raft a lot.  We never owned our own boat but we did get life jackets, some dry bags and ammo cans and we went on many trips with friends.  The longest being 11 days.  So, needless to say I was a bit nervous to go on a river trip, without my family, without communication with my family and I would also be one of the oldest women on this trip and not one of those young girls has kids.  After many phone calls to meet up with who was driving all was set.  I was committed. 
I left my house at 8 a.m. and drove to the house where we were all meeting.  Slowly came the cars that we were caravanning with.  I forgot how much gear is involved.  The truck I was in was pulling a trailer with 2 boats, the oars, coolers, frames and all of our gear.  We couldn't have fit anything else in.  We drove for almost 8 hours to the put-in up in Vernal Utah.  It was warm and the mood was exceptional.  Our friends, who we were meeting up with to raft this stretch of the river, had just come off of another 10 day trip so they were already tan and in river mode.  RELAXED!
Beers were cracked, cocktails were made and tents were set up.  I decided to sleep on the boat since it was offered.  It was a beautiful night under the stars in my sleeping bag.
After rigging up our 9 boats the next morning all 20 of us were off.  We had 9 boats, one duckie, a kayak and a shredder.  We floated the river all day, almost 20 miles.  Our camp was beautiful and we all de-rigged and the kitchen was set up and we all picked our spot for the night and in an hour we had our home for the night.  What a process it is but so cool.  These people raft together a lot so they are like a well oiled machine. 
The dinner crew got dinner going and hand washing stations set up.  We established a fire area and set up the fire pans and chairs.  There was a horse shoe game in progress and everyone was having a blast.  We didn't stay up too late and I slept like a baby in my awesome North Face tent that I've had forever. 
The next morning was paradise.  The coffee was already made by the morning kitchen crew and breakfast was out.  This particular morning it was bagels, cream cheese, granola, yogurt.  It was perfect.  We took down camp and cleaned up and were on the river again by 10:30.  Not bad considering there were 20 of us to rally. 
This day on the river was the same.  Sunny, hot and fun. We swam in the cold water and hopped from boat to boat and laughed and laughed.  We pulled over and took a hike up to some petroglyphs that were super cool.  We saw the moonshiners cabin which is this old cabin from the early 1900's from a guy who basically carved out the side of the canyon and built a cabin.  He planted an orchard, peaches I think, and made moonshine, illegally, of course.  The cabin is cool.  His boots are still there, his overalls still hanging up,  the wood stove, bed and many other things.   Hard to imagine this guy lived so remote and made moonshine. 
Back on the boats for more.  Every camp was sandy.  Sand like you'd see in Florida.  Huge sandy beaches and you didn't need to pitch a tent.  It was warm, not very buggy and being on the river felt great. 
One day after about 10 miles we got to our camp and de-rigged.  We were having a lay-over here, meaning we would camp 2 nights instead of one.  It was a great beach.  There were rapids right in front of the camp so we could watch the other boaters run the rapids.  Down the beach there was what was dubbed naked beach so, you guessed it.  We got naked.  Just the ladies but it was the greatest feeling laying outside next to a river with new friends BUCK NAKED!  Nobody cared, nobody looked and nobody judged. 
That next night we had dress up night.  We all knew this before the trip so everyone brought an outfit of some kind.  We all slowly wondered to the kitchen/fire area all dressed up and it was hysterical.  There were old prom dresses, wigs, 60's outfits.  Everyone had something different and we were laughing so hard and taking pictures. 
I have to say one thing about rafting.  It's a rich mans sport.  Even though we poop on a groover, which is basically this big ammo can that we set a toilet seat on and pee in the river and bathe in the river and hair washing is in the river, it costs a lot of money to get set up and get the gear.  There is so much gear and the more you see something cool that someone else has the more you want to go get it.  It's a lot of work too.  Pulling permits, getting a group who you thing are going to be compatible, rigging, de-rigging, it's all a lot of work.  Fun work though. 
Unfortunately, I lost my camera on day 8 of the trip and never found it so my memories are in my mind.  I'm sick about it but there is nothing I can do.  I am trying to gather pictures from the other friends on the trip but that is taking some time. 
The Grand Canyon is on my bucket list.  Everyone on this trip had multiple trips down the Grand and I hope one day to have that under my belt. 
If you ever get a chance to do a river trip, I would highly recommend it. 

Confirmation

Today was a very special day for our youngest daughter and our family.  She was confirmed.  She finished her 2 year program through our church which confirms to me that, again, my baby is growing up.  We couldn't have been more proud of her.  She was beautiful.  She was mature, happy and at ease in front of the congregation doing her duty.  The fun thing is that she had her best friend with her who was getting confirmed as well.  They had a ball and I think she'll miss the Wednesday nights that we were committed to.  I, on the other hand, am sort of glad it is one less thing we need to drive to and wait for.  Selfish?  Definitely. 
Our Pastor really puts some time into this and he and his volunteers went above and beyond with all they did for the 3 Confirmands and we felt it was special.  Last night we had a wonderful dinner with the 3 kids and all of our families.  Pastor Joe put together a cute slide show if pictures of the kids from birth to today and he does a kind of "roast" for them.  It's fun, funny and very entertaining.  I can't remember my confirmation being so much fun but that was a LONG time ago. 
Hannah is lucky to have had such a kind and caring community of people who took the time to get to know her and guide her along in her faith journey.  I'm confident she'll grow to be the amazing person she is becoming and the good people who surround her in her daily life will help her though her journey. 

I am very grateful. 

Time for a Change

Well, after bitching for pretty much the past few posts, and not posting much other than depressing stuff,  it's time for a change.  I'm spring cleaning myself. 
We still have snow on the ground but I can get in my car and drive 6 miles down the mountain where there is no more snow and the ground is dry.  I am taking advantage of that.  The other day I was running down by the lake and I was looking around at the mountains and the lake and I still get goosebumps with our view.  It's absolutely amazing. 
I am moving in the right directions with treatments for J and I have enlisted help from a new therapist who seems to know how to deal with adolescents.  It's his specialty.  I've realized that there is no support out there for parents dealing with this and trying to talk to friends and family is just frustrating.  Unless you are living with the difficult behavior you just really don't know what it's like. 
I've been seriously thinking of starting a support group of some sort because I know other parents are dealing with equally difficult situations.  I see it in the faces of the parents sitting across us in the waiting rooms.  Everyone tries to be all nonchalant but the pain is there. 
I feel positive and motivated and I am thankful for a break from work to focus on myself and do a little self maintenance. 
It's time. 

Oh, The Rage

It's 11 p.m. and Jordan is finally, I think, done (which actually she wasn't and just came out to carry on a bit more). 
I'm so exhausted with her and this raging I can't even begin to describe it.  Here, I'll try. 
6-7 nights/days a week she rages.  Google bipolar rage and read all about it.  I'm too tired to try to explain it.  Plenty of others are in my shoes. 
She rules this house. 
We have a new hole in one of our doors as of tonight.
It's crazy around here. 
She's crying right now trying to get to sleep.
Her rage lasted about 4 hours tonight. 
I'm crying right now trying to figure out what the hell to do.
We have called 911 3 times over her rages.  And to someone living with bipolar this is NOTHING!
The Dr. who medicates her has told us she is now in the hospitalization stage. 
WTF!!!
My family doesn't want to deal with it nor do they want to know anything about it.  It's between my husband, me and our daughters. 
Shhhhh.    Don't talk about it. 
It's a teenage thing, or so we've been told by those that don't want to educate themselves on BIPOLAR.
I now have a therapist, and I love his wisdom.  He helps me and directs me to ask the right questions and makes me feel like I have a purpose now.  That feeling was slowly slipping away. 
J, now has a new therapist too, and hopefully he can help her.
Her meds are clearly not working.
MN was a mistake to stay so long.  We definitely overstayed our stay. 
I'm sorry Dad.  We should have left a week earlier. 
I did go for a 4 mile run today and it felt soooooo great. 
While I was home I was out with a bunch of high school friends and one guy I went to HS with, whom I haven't seen in years, told me I looked tired. 
Well pal, I am fricken tired.  You try living in rage every waking hour of your life and trying your hardest to get it under control.
I have become the crazy, cranky person I don't want to be.
Oh the rage, I'm so fricken tired of it. 

Starting Tomorrow

Raising a 15 year old daughter has exhausted me. 
Raising a 15 year old daughter with Bipolar has completely depleted me. 
I need to blog and vent and get some support. 

I will start tomorrow. 

Hunger Games

Go buy this set and be sure to get all three books.  They are excellent. 
I just bought my tickets for the girls and me to see the movie Thursday night. 
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0545265355/ref=as_li_qf_br_asin_til?tag=httpmountai09-20&camp=0&creative=0&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=0545265355&adid=0P6YD0TMVASJTTEQ7G72

I Love my Wine

Being a wine lover I certainly have a new appreciation for the drink.   I have my job, and our sommelier, to thank for that.  I have been consuming wine for EVER.  It goes way back to my teen days and drinking TJ Swan.  Not that TJ Swan is wine but I could get it in a jug for cheap.  My palette has grown exponentially since then. 
At work we have a huge wine list and we need to know those wines.  We are schooled once a month for about 3-4 hours in our wine tasting/class.  Not to mention the studying I need to do on a daily basis just to survive at work selling it.   I have broadened my horizons and opened my mind to new grapes and I have learned to pair wine with food.  It's amazing what you think you may not like or just do not like drinking alone but the minute you pair it with food what an amazing thing. 
I love the wine lovers, too.  It's a personal thing but also, I have realized, that people who are wine drinkers are funny people, especially when you are waiting on them. 
You get the "I hate Merlot" people probably because they watched the movie 'Sideways' which sealed the deal and made them make an opinion based on something silly like that movie. Merlot is a perfect pairing for many foods.  You get the "I won't EVER drink a Riesling" people because, like me, I thought at one time Riesling was only a sweet wine and I really don't drink sweet wines.  Except dessert wines and that is a whole new ballgame.  I was one of those anti Riesling wine drinkers until I tried some dry Rieslings and now I understand.  Riesling goes with just about everything. 
I will make an exception and White Zinfandel is one of those "Mom" wines.  I say that because it was the only wine my Mom ever drank, with ice, and it goes well on the patio on a hot summer day, if you're my Mom but not much good for anything else.  And that is just an opinion. 
I have learned and packed away an incredible amount of information about wine and I will continue to study it. 
I'm going to pour myself a glass and really taste it.  Old world, new world, acidic, tannic, fruity or earthy, soft, smooth, creamy, dry, not so dry, white, red, rose. 
Bottom line, do I like it?  Chances are, yes, I will. 
Unless it's corked. 

March 5, 2008. A Sad Day

Today is the anniversary of my Mother's death.  Part of me died that day too.  It was the saddest day of my life. 
I can vividly remember everyone in the room when she was gone.  We were all crying and talking in disbelief.  I couldn't believe that she was gone.  I didn't know how I was going to raise my kids without her in my life. 
I am still so ashamed for being such a shitty teenager to her and if I could I would take it all back.  I did get to tell her that though and we became the best of friends once I moved out of the house.  I think that is pretty common.  I have always needed my Mom and she was always there for me, no matter what. 
She was the best Mother anyone could have ever asked for.  After all, she was raised by my Grandma who was a saint and one of my most favorite people in the world. 
I love and miss you Mom. 

Always on the floor even though it hurt her knees so much.  She loved her grandkids more than anything. 

 Mom and Dad in Keystone on a sleigh ride.  She couldn't deal with the altitude well and still took her oxygen tank and went on the tour.  She was a trouper. 

Mom, with our Best Man and good friend who we lost, John Flanagan. 

Mom, pregnant with my brothers. 

Waiting on Idiots

If I could I would.  I would tell my "guests" what I really feel about them, at my job. 
Tonight was just plain frustrating.  People don't get it.  This is why EVERYONE needs to work as a waiter just for a portion of their lives to figure out life. 
Take note. 
When going out to dinner and your table is not ready, RELAX.  Especially when you have cocktails in front of you and a fire in the fireplace that you are sitting in front of.  20-30 minutes on a Saturday night is not that bad of a wait. 
If you are told not to throw anymore logs on the fire because we are having issues with the back draft because of the wind DON'T TAKE OFFENSE AND LET IT RUIN YOUR EVENING.
Again, relax.  it's not the end of the world that you can't show your friends how you can stoke a fire.  
Once you get to your table, let go of the fire thing.  For one, it's super annoying that you keep bringing up the fact that you couldn't stoke the fire.   I'm sorry your ego was hurt.  And the Elk we saved for you that you weren't to psyched about well, it was a great product and you were just looking for something to bitch about since your ego was deflated. 
Also, the d'Arenberg, The Love Grass, Shiraz that you ordered is an EXCELLENT wine and for you to snub your nose at it shows that you know nothing about wine.   Again, you were just offended and had to look for something to complain about. 
When you order the Bavarian, instead of the signature Blueberry Cobbler, or the Chocolate Mousse, or the homemade Ice Cream on Red Velvet cake and throw the "F" bomb when you get your not so talked about Bavarian, you need to realize that you are a complete idiot. 

Clearly, I had a bad table tonight that took out a not so perfect night, in one guy's mind, on me.  Everyone else gave me HUGE verbal tips.  The monetary tip I received from them was terrible and the service they received was exceptional.  They even told me so. 
Except the guy with the huge ego. 
He was just a complete ass hole. 

My Menopaus

A day in the life of me goes something like this. 

We got home late last night for a last minute trip to Taos, New Mexico for a little skiing.  The skiing  is amazing and we love it there.  We didn't get home until around midnight and by the time lights were out it was well after 1.  Of course, I had appointments scheduled for today.  The first one being at 9 am at my dermatologist.  I had the where-with-all to get in the bathtub last night so I felt fresh, at least.   But, me being me I got out of bed at 8:10, brushed my teeth and since we didn't have any coffee in the house I got in my car right smack dab at 8:14.  The weather was terrible and the interstate was closed, the dam road was closed and it made for some slow driving.  But, I did get to my appointment on time and felt good about that.
Now, let me back up a minute.  I last saw my dermatologist a year ago for just a face check.  I secretly have a little crush on him after that appointment.   He is funny, nice, and I just felt comfortable around him.  He gave me the time of day, we joked around about stuff.  Not typical for a Doc.  Bottom line, he made me laugh, hence the small crush.  So, before I left for that appointment, a year ago, I made another appointment with him to get a yearly check up.  I got to the office today and checked in and was brought to a room.  She told me to get undressed and leave my bra and underwear on and put on the gown, back side open.  I was kind of confused and she told me that I had made an appointment for a full body check.  Oh, right, I remember now. 
So I get in my gown and immediately think to myself how I haven't shaved my legs.  No problem, I'll just keep my red knee high socks on. 
Now I'm sitting in the chair, on the paper, with my gown on, back side open, my red knee high socks on to hide my extremely hairy legs, reading a magazine feeling all confident.  Doc comes in and we make small chit chat and I am feeling a little insecure in my hospital gown and ugly socks and shabby bra.  He does his normal face check on me and I'm asking questions about my adult acne and he has a solution and I'm feeling super confident. 
He has me stand up so he can check my back so I do and I'm having a hot flash, because I'm menopausal and all of that stupid paper that they have on the chair I'm sitting on is stuck to my backside and it's all wet with my sweat.  I apologize and start picking pieces of sweaty paper off of me and he's a doctor so he could give a shit but I'm horrified.  I pull out more paper from the roll because I've completely ruined the paper I'm sitting on and need more.  It's like cheap toilet paper and trying to wipe up something with cheap toilet paper.  It just disintegrates before your very eyes. 
Now, he's done with my check up but I don't want to sit down again because I'm just going to repeat the same sweat on the paper thing again.  So I just stand there while he is talking to me, wrapping up the check up.
UGH. 
I am over the menopaus thing. 

Not It, but, it Depends

OK.  After calling "NOT IT" last night for tonight I went to work all smug and snarky.  I looked at my set up number and being number 2, that means, I am in charge of the seating chart.  That means I can assign tables to whomever I want and I can either marter myself or not.  Usually I play fair but tonight I knew I was not going to wait on the family with the baby.  I left out much of the story from last night and now wish I would have gone into detail. 
Read on and all I have to say is, enough said. 
I started vacuuming the dining room and checking tables for the correct settings.  I was about 45 minutes early which I like because I can get a jump start on the night and be all set up and ready to go.  I'm weird that way.  I'm annoyingly early for stuff. 
I walked out of the kitchen and here she comes around the corner.  Nana.  Now, Nana is a pretty women, nice and sweet, but a little off.  She has this waste basket in her hands and comes up to me while holding the "waste" out to me and says,
"I don't know what to do with this.  As you can see it's very full because my husband wears depends and of course my grandson is in diapers."  
She hands me the 30lb "waste" basket, which is lined with a plastic bag but the plastic bag isn't tied up all nice a few times.   Nope, it was wide open with the stench of her husbands depends and baby grandson's diapers for everyone to smell. 
Lucky me for being there early.  I walked to the dumpster with her "waste" basket and dumped it in the dumpster and relined it and brought it up to her room and rather then knock on her door I just left in out in the hall.  I certainly didn't want to hand that back to her husband and act all polite-like. 
I immediately went and scrubbed my hands all the way up to my shoulders like an ER doctor and followed that by a good dousing of hand sanitiser which was now hand, arm, body sanitizer. 
I have seen it all now. 
Being in the restaurant business sure does have it's downs and downs.  Ooops, I mean ups and downs.

A few hours later I'm waiting on a couple from Florida.  They order a $300 bottle of wine and can't say enough about the ambiance and food and, of course, the service.  They left me a $100 tip.
I'll deal with the "shit" for that.  And we do, too. 
What a weird night. 

NOT IT !!!!!

We used to call "Not It" when we were kids when we didn't want to be "it"
Remember that? 
Well, I still say that at work when I don't want to wait on someone or I don't want to do a particular job.  And usually it works out well in my favor.  Tonight I called "not it" for tomorrow. 
I do not want to wait on the same table two nights in a row.  As, I'm sure, they don't want me to be their server two nights in a row.  
First of all, they have a baby.  I love babies but not in our restaurant.  Our restaurant is no place for babies.  No one likes a loud baby in a restaurant and when you are paying $70/person for just dinner one really does not need a baby screaming and throwing food AND they have the table by the fireplace.  But, that is was the best place for them considering we are a very small dining room and they had their own corner to themselves. 
So,
NOT IT!!

Squatters Rights

I'm missing Costa Rica so much.  I can't stop thinking about our summer there two summers ago.  It seems like a lifetime.  I got on Google Earth to check on our land.  I want to know if our banana trees are growing.  I want to see if our fence is still up.  I want to see the house next to us and if they finished it.  I want to see if squatters have moved in. Costa Rica has something called squatters rights.

 

Squatters Rights in Costa Rica:

Squatters, or precaristas, begin to receive rights to a piece of real estate after 3 months of living on the land. After a year, the squatter can apply for expropriation with the Agriculture Development Institute (IDA). If the IDA declares the property in conflict, the land is sold and handed over to the squatters. Oceanfront real estate in The Maritime Zone can not be owned, it can only be leased, and prime beach front properties often attract many problems with squatters. If squatters are not evicted within 3 months, the process of eviction can be long and expensive, often resulting in the loss of the property.

We won't let that happen but I do find it interesting. 
  I want to be in Costa Rica.  I found our lot, on Google Earth, and unfortunately couldn't see the fence or the banana trees and the lot next to us seemed undeveloped.  I think it's from a few years ago so nothing was updated.  I don't know.  And the pixels weren't doing their job.  It was too fuzzy the more I zoomed in.  But, it was great to see the lot and I followed the road with my mouse cursor like we would ride on our bikes. 
I  really, really miss Costa Rica! 
 
  
  
 Our Costa Rica Land

  
   -
  
 

Deer Creek-Our Trailhead

We call it our trail head even though it's not.  But we do own part of the land that people park on to ski, ride, snowmobile, hike, etc.  And it's not even the official trail head.  The official trail head is up the road a half a mile or so. 
We continue to pick up the trash left behind by these purists who come up to the mountains to enjoy the day.  We have seen people pee, poop, spit, puke, you name it.  We have seen it.  We have picked it up.  Used rubbers, used toilet paper, used hanker chiefs, old broken bungies, left-over parts from snowmobiles or jeeps just left there, twine, cigarette butts (what's up with you smokers that can't understand throwing cigarette butts on the ground is LITTERING!), bottles, cans, bon-fire wood that has been burned even though there is no pit or ring.   It's frustrating and now we are even more frustrated.  
This winter has started off very slow for us because the snow just hasn't been falling.  But, the snowmobilers don't seem to mind.  We get an inch and 3 or 4 of them are raring to go, revving up their machines and taking off up the mountain, rocks, water, grass still showing. 
The next week, we get and inch and more trailers are barrelling up the road to get it!! 
Give it a rest people.  This is so ridiculous to watch.  Not only that but the snow pack is extremely unsafe right now and everyone knows that but still flirts with it. 
This is what happened 2 days ago. 
We had a storm, not a huge storm but it dumped some snow on the mountains.  The day started out normal.  Kids driving up the road like a bat out of hell to get some powder.  10 or so are in the parking lot, smoking, peeing, laughing, revving up the machines, psyched.   We see it everyday.
They all take off up the mountain, tandem, towing riders/skiers.   They get to Little Alaska and it looks great.  Keep in mind, this is serious terrain.  It's not to be taken lightly.  Well, these guys are standing on the top and of course it slides.  Not a little but it was a huge slide.  Avalanches can kill you.  But so many don't seem to care.  Luckily,  nobody was caught but it's just a matter of time.  This is a daily thing up here and it's so frustrating to see when there is no respect. 
Anyway, I'm heading to work and Kurtis is working on skis in the garage.  I notice his snowmobile in our driveway and I'm thinking it's some skier/rider using our phone or "borrowing" a shovel without asking.  So , I go into the garage and it's Kurtis and I'm joking with him saying I think he's some dude taking a shit in our toilet in the garage.  It's happened.  We're laughing at how living at a trail head has it's disadvantages when, this guy rides up on his snowmobile, panicked and asks to use our phone.  I have absolutely no problem with this and give him the phone.  It was just ironic because Kurtis and I were just talking about all of the people coming to the house for various reasons. 
This guy dials 911 and his buddy apparently broke his femur up in Deer Creek.  Terrible. 
As I'm driving to work two cops in their trucks with snowmobiles in the bed are driving up to Deer Creek with their sirens on and I'm just hoping this guy will be alright.  They ended up flight for life-ing him out of Deer Creek.  I hope they had a fishing license. 
That day was just an example of a great day gone bad.  I was reading on Facebook all the comments about this day and of course there was the proverbial comment stating that they were just going up for a look-see and if the conditions weren't promising they were just going to hang out and enjoy the scenery and company of friends.  I get that but give me a break.  The conditions were extremely dangerous and everyone in this county knows that.  It's all over the radios, CAIC (Colorado Avalanche Information Center) website, and everyone is talking about it.  So, even if you aren't backcountry savvy and can't tell what the conditions are like it's in your face.  You get 5-10 twenty-something guys together with snowmobiles, skis, boards, packs, and unstable conditions, something is going to happen. 
My husband is beside himself everyday watching this, in our parking lot.  And yes, we do consider it our parking lot/trail head because we maintain it. 
For those who come up here for the first time or the 101st time and think it's special.  It is special.  It's been special for us for 21 years.  And you first timer's.  Quit acting like it's some long lost gem of a secret ski area that you are now skiing/riding and feel the need to tell your friends what YOU discovered.  Believe me, I've heard it and just shake my head in disgust. 
Be respectful people.  If you have an emergency feel free to use the phone.  If you're stuck and need a shovel, feel free to use a shovel but put it back where you found it and if you break it-you buy it.  If you come up with a snowmobile, don't ride it round and round in the parking lot so we can hear you.  Ride up the mountain.  If you need to unload your snowmobile, don't park in our driveway to do so.  Figure it out without using the berm.   If you have to pee or poop don't use our bathroom.  Go in the woods where I can't drive up and, for God's sake, see your little, tiny weenie flapping in the wind.  And, dispose of your feces like you should.  Pick up your PBR cans and bottles and trash and don't feed my dog.  He has a sensitive stomach and barfs it all up at 2 in the morning.  And last, don't ski/ride when you know the conditions are dangerously unsafe. 
And if you do and things go wrong, own up to it and admit that you weren't smart that day. 
I'm not saying the guy with the broken femur did anything wrong, that was just a part of everyday life skiing in Deer Creek.  I hope he's alright.

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry we are  living with Bipolar.
I'm sorry we offended you.
I'm sorry you don't understand.
I'm sorry she was disrespectful.
I'm sorry we had to cancel out at the last minute.
I'm sorry she cried in your class.
I'm sorry I don't want to exchange gifts anymore.
I'm sorry you think she's weird.
I'm sorry I don't feel like talking.
I'm sorry I can't explain and you want me to.
I'm sorry she just wants to listen to her ipod and not engage.
I'm sorry she can't concentrate in your class.
I'm sorry I keep calling your office crying.
I'm sorry I seem mad.
I'm sorry we hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry you don't get it.
I'm sorry she slammed your door.
I'm sorry we seem distant.
I'm sorry we have holes in our walls.
I'm sorry I cry when I talk about this.
I'm sorry you want to hospitalize.
I'm sorry you had to come to the house because it was a false alarm.
I'm sorry we upset you.
I'm sorry your kid is upset.
I'm sorry I can't help.
I'm sorry the meds don't work.
I'm sorry we keep seeing the Dr.
I'm sorry you don't "buy into" the Bipolar diagnosis.
I'm sorry you have to judge us.
I'm sorry I have to judge you.
I'm sorry you had to hear that swearing.
I'm sorry we don't want to come over.
I'm sorry we had to leave so soon.
I'm sorry we invited you and then uninvited you.
I'm sorry we lied because we knew you would not understand.
I'm sorry she can't sleep over.
I'm sorry I'm not the one with the disorder. 

I am NOT sorry I have the most beautiful, strong, wonderful daughter that will not stop fighting. 

Never Mind

Well, the meet today didn't happen.  We did get up early so I could have Jordan there by 8:15 and she looked terrible.  Huge dark circles under her eyes, pale and just plain sick looking.  I dropped her off and went and got a cup of Joe and came back.  I settled myself on the bleachers for the day and she got out of the pool and I could tell right away something was wrong.  She was sick.  Her little body was shutting down and she couldn't keep it together. 
The coach and I decided that she wasn't able to swim and there was no way.  I took her home where she promptly got into her comfy pj's and feel asleep on the couch.  There she still is, snoozing away looking super pale. 
I hate it when my kids are sick.  There is nothing I can do for them but let it ride the course.  Which this will do.  She's been through a lot this week. 
Yuck. 
So, never mind all that about me being mama of the week.  I should've talked her into not staying up all night and next year she has already told me she won't.  Some bodies just can't deal with that.  Mine certainly can't. 
Another learning process. 

Mama of the Week

That's me!
Mama of the Week!  YessireeBob.  I feel like I did well.  I'm finally learning how to do this Mom thang, 15 years later. 
Jordan called once more last night, totally in a panic and wanting to come home.  She didn't have her science, math and another binder she needed for school.  She also needed a glue gun and some wood.  I told her I would come get her and we'll call the whole thing off and she could come home and sleep in her own bed and it'll all be fine.  Well, I packed up the glue gun, a few pieces of different size wood from the garage, her slippers, and all of her school binders.  I drove 25 minutes to where she was and when I got there she was happy to see me and I brought all of the stuff in the house and asked if she wanted to go home with me and to my surprise, she did not.  She did give me a great, big, giant hug. 
I drove off worried about her decision and thought "good, she'll be happy she was a part of it all"
I picked her up from the bus at 3:30 this afternoon and she looked like she has been up all night.  Which she was. 
They were taken from their warm beds at 2:00 am and never stopped doing stuff all night.  They sang at 7-11, played at a park, went to fast food places and did stupid stuff.  They had a ball.  They ended up at the team captains house for breakfast and luckily swim practice was cancelled because the coaches took pity on them and they were all in school on time.  Jordan was so happy to be a part of it all and she held on the entire night.  Granted, she was asleep by 6 tonight. 
Tomorrow, we get her to the pool by 8am for a swim meet. 
I can't wait to hear from the other's how it went. 
I'm so glad I didn't make her come home with me.  Although, part of her wishes she would have gotten a good nights sleep.  That, she did tell me. 

The Kidnapping

Tonight's the big kidnapping.  Apparently it's "fun".  For Jordan????  I'm not so sure about that.  Let me explain.
Every year the swim team seniors line up a "kidnapping" for the underclass.  At the beginning of swim season they told all of the parents that they will pick a night and drive to that swimmers house and get them out of bed in the middle of the night and not let them get dressed, comb their hair, or anything.  The asked that for those of us who live far away to maybe arrange for our kid to spend the night with a fellow swimmer.  We were given instructions to put our dog's away, unlock the door and give directions to the bedroom our daughter is sleeping in.  Sounds fun, huh????
Not for Jordan.  She knows that this is going to happen but doesn't know when and she totally wants to be a part of it.  Well, Jordan isn't like most girls.  She suffers from extreme anxiety on top of everything else and two nights ago when I lined up for her to sleep over at a friends house she went into panic mode.  There was no way I was expecting those girls to drive up here on our slick, icy, windy road to get my daughter.  It's too far away.   
I made up some excuse that I had to work a breakfast and that Dad couldn't possibly make it up and down the hill twice in one morning to get her to swim practice and Hannah to school.   Well, she didn't buy it and went into panic mode and couldn't stand the thought of sleeping over at so and so's house ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!!!!!
She is crying and crawling out of her skin and can't get it together.  I'm thinking this is a bad idea for her and I try calming her down saying it'll be fun and when does she ever get a chance to sleep over at a friends on a school night?  It's not working. 
I finally tell her the secret. 
Shame on me but like I said, we're not dealing with your ordinary child here.  This is different. 
I tell her we can call it all off and it would be better that she doesn't stay up all night, then swim practice, then school.  She almost bought it but then decided that she cannot miss out.  Darnit. 
So, tonight she is at her friends and hasn't spilled the beans and has already called 3 times.  The first time she was crying, wanting to be picked up, the second time she put it together and the third time she just wanted to hear my voice.  Sigh!
I love my daughter so much with her flaws and I am hoping that everything will be fine.  It's all harmless and they don't do anything wrong or mean or inappropriate.  It's just a great group of girls, 9th-12th grades that are doing what teens do best.  Having Fun. 
She's going to be a mess tomorrow and I will deal with that tomorrow. 
Ahhhhh,  High School.