My Menopaus

A day in the life of me goes something like this. 

We got home late last night for a last minute trip to Taos, New Mexico for a little skiing.  The skiing  is amazing and we love it there.  We didn't get home until around midnight and by the time lights were out it was well after 1.  Of course, I had appointments scheduled for today.  The first one being at 9 am at my dermatologist.  I had the where-with-all to get in the bathtub last night so I felt fresh, at least.   But, me being me I got out of bed at 8:10, brushed my teeth and since we didn't have any coffee in the house I got in my car right smack dab at 8:14.  The weather was terrible and the interstate was closed, the dam road was closed and it made for some slow driving.  But, I did get to my appointment on time and felt good about that.
Now, let me back up a minute.  I last saw my dermatologist a year ago for just a face check.  I secretly have a little crush on him after that appointment.   He is funny, nice, and I just felt comfortable around him.  He gave me the time of day, we joked around about stuff.  Not typical for a Doc.  Bottom line, he made me laugh, hence the small crush.  So, before I left for that appointment, a year ago, I made another appointment with him to get a yearly check up.  I got to the office today and checked in and was brought to a room.  She told me to get undressed and leave my bra and underwear on and put on the gown, back side open.  I was kind of confused and she told me that I had made an appointment for a full body check.  Oh, right, I remember now. 
So I get in my gown and immediately think to myself how I haven't shaved my legs.  No problem, I'll just keep my red knee high socks on. 
Now I'm sitting in the chair, on the paper, with my gown on, back side open, my red knee high socks on to hide my extremely hairy legs, reading a magazine feeling all confident.  Doc comes in and we make small chit chat and I am feeling a little insecure in my hospital gown and ugly socks and shabby bra.  He does his normal face check on me and I'm asking questions about my adult acne and he has a solution and I'm feeling super confident. 
He has me stand up so he can check my back so I do and I'm having a hot flash, because I'm menopausal and all of that stupid paper that they have on the chair I'm sitting on is stuck to my backside and it's all wet with my sweat.  I apologize and start picking pieces of sweaty paper off of me and he's a doctor so he could give a shit but I'm horrified.  I pull out more paper from the roll because I've completely ruined the paper I'm sitting on and need more.  It's like cheap toilet paper and trying to wipe up something with cheap toilet paper.  It just disintegrates before your very eyes. 
Now, he's done with my check up but I don't want to sit down again because I'm just going to repeat the same sweat on the paper thing again.  So I just stand there while he is talking to me, wrapping up the check up.
UGH. 
I am over the menopaus thing.